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Heritage

B”H
March 24, 2020
erev 12 Nissan 5781

“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”

– Proverbs 5:15, JPS 1917 Tanach

The fountains of my youth were not the same as my ancestors; nor, did I approach the sanctuary of prayer in the same manner of reverence. Rather, time spent chasing waterfalls, that had their origin in waters not of a source close to the land of my forefathers, were the pastimes that stood between me and my G-d, preventing the proper reverence towards Him, that I should have at least had every Sabbath, when dressed in my finery to pay homage to the G-d of Israel.
How assuredly tragic is the entirety of a life assimilated to the ways of olam hazeh (this world), caught up in gashmios (materialism), without any sense of ruchniyos (spirituality). I speak for myself, as well as for others, who have not yet been called to return to the L-RD. I recently discovered that I am a fifth generation descendant of a chassidic rabbi; yet, only after many years of searching, and eventually returning to my roots, am I beginning to appreciate my heritage.
There is no other place of refuge, except within the shadow of the Shechinah, G-d’s Immanent Presence on earth, where He may still dwell within us (see Exodus 25:8), despite the rampant secularism that pollutes the waters of olam hazeh (this world). A life previously unexamined, like my own when I was a youth, mostly amongst my secular peers, will inevitably lead to a crossroads. As a returnee to the faith of my ancestors, I have already reached that crossroads; and, determined to stay on the derech (path) that I chose to follow, the road towards freedom through responsibility, commitment, and a higher purpose, I still struggle, even to this day, against the lure of secular influences.
Permit me to be more specific, since my language, no doubt, may appear to cast too great a shadow on the secular world. Even moreso than whatever might be considered to be “secular” or mundane, as opposed to “sacred” or even holy, I would write with respect towards those pastimes of my own, as well as the various activities that are counterethical to a life lived well in respect to the guidelines given to us from Above. For to live according to one’s own ways, without giving thought towards the Designer’s purpose for mankind, would only bring me deeper into the abyss, that I originally climbed out of, when G-d sent a helping hand to lift me out of the darkness.

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inspiration

Commitment

Perhaps, the most important aspect of becoming a bas or bar mitzvah, upon reaching the ages of 12 and 13, respectively, is the integral meaning of this life transformation. Indeed, many other aspects of this tradition seem to be upheld as significant, except for the single most important one: the responsibilities that are now incumbent upon the young teenager.

We are all familiar with the narratives of scripture, learned as if by osmosis, yet, gradually receding like the outgoing tide. Had we been more aware of our obligation to study these narratives on our own, after becoming young men, and young women, perhaps, the often angst ridden years of our youth would at least have had some groundwork, worked out through constant study. And, a foundation would have been laid in order to support our spiritual growth.

Rather, too often, this is not nearly the case, as the saying goes, after one’s bar or bas mitzvah, one graduates from Judaism, and is no longer required to attend Hebrew school; neither do some of us in the Reform or Conservative movements, continue to attend Shabbat services every Saturday morning. Instead, we may be too eager to go out to the mall with our friends. Otherwise, we take the day off, even from the activities that are supposed to make the Day of Rest meaningful: such as services, and family meals in honor of our Creator, Who was the first to rest on the seventh day. If G-d rested on the Sabbath, who are we to think that there is no need to refrain from our usual activities on this holy day?

We are not greater than G-d, nor are we capable of making the best decisions in our lives, without His guidance. Yet, the competing factors of the modern world will suppress our individuality as children of G-d, created in His image, in favor of offering us an alternative narrative, one that will succeed in our homogenization, so that we become children of the world instead (G-d forbid). The aim of our secular education, and the influence of modern society, will turn us into citizens of the world, subject to the ways of the world, instead of pilgrims on earth, like our father Abraham, who knew not the idolatry of his environment; rather, he looked towards, the fulfillment of G-d’s plan on earth.

Thus, we should take our cues from the examples of the patriarchs and matriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, as well as Sarah, Rebecah, Rachel and Leah. In doing so, we will be prepared to finally take on the obligations of Torah, that we were meant to do, after that big celebration at our bar or bas mitzvah. And, for those who never had a bar or bas mitzvah, now is the time to wake up to the reality that our lives should be governed by G-d’s rules, guidelines, and commandments.

It is not uncommon, for seventy year olds to have a second bar or bas mitzvah, as a reminder of the godly commitment, that was supposed to be made in our youth, and if made, may have diminished over the years. Thus, even those who were not able to make this formal declaration of intent, may also do so in their latter years, as a means to benefit the soul. Ultimately, we are all like lost sheep, that need to return to our Father in Shomayim (Heaven). We would be wise to do so, sooner than later. May He grant us the opportunity. Ahmein.

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inspiration, personal

Renewal of Identity

Who I am today, could never have been imagined, in the mind of the person that I was twenty years ago. Nor, could I have known of the various changes in my life, that would bring me to my current identity, belief, and worldview. There is a Yiddish saying, Man makes plans, and G-d laughs. I have begun to laugh with Him, at this point in my life, whereas in the past, my heart was hardened against change. Especially, I was resistant towards the acceptance of unexpected changes in my own life.

Yet, to rise above the stance of viewing events within the framework of “cause and effect,” is to transcend the mechanics of the world, relationships, and chance. From a higher perspective, everything happens in accordance with G-d’s plan, ultimately for the good, regardless of the how’s, why’s, and a limited perspective that discolors the beautiful vessel being created. Namely, that vessel is made up of the elements of the earth, given a soul, and designed for an individually tailored purpose on this Earth.

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inspiration

Return Anew

B”H

,

“Remember, forget thou not, how thou didst make the L-RD thy G-d wroth in the wilderness.”

– Deuteronomy 9:7, JPS 1917 Tanach

As a ba’al teshuvah, someone who has returned to the derech (path) of my people, in a manner consistent with Torah, I often wonder how to view my past. One of the six remberances, events that should always be remembered is the commandment to remember how as a people, we angered G-d in the wilderness through our disobedience and lack of emunah (faith). The word, “wilderness,” seems significant to me, implying a more general connotation, having to do with the so called wilderness of my youth.

There’s an adage, a sort of “popular refrain” to the Exodus narrative, whereof B’nei Yisrael (the Children of Israel), received freedom from slavery, yet, struggled with the negative influences of their time spent in Egypt: Although the Children of Israel were taken out of Egypt, the greater challenge was to take Egypt out of the Children of Israel.

This saying is also relevant to my own life, inasmuch that I was given a moral compass, I sometimes strayed off the derech (path). Making a transition from a mostly secular, assimilated Jew to an observant one is not something that occurred overnight for me; in fact, the transition continues on an everyday basis, step by step, progressively towards the next level (madreiga).

Additionally, there is greater need for vigilance, perhaps, on the part of a ba’al teshuvah, than for an observant Jew, who was not as influenced by the secular world, while growing up in a more religious environment. For myself, sometimes, the daily walk is like carefully stepping on a tightrope, stretched out from the beginning of the day, until the end of the day.

The derech (walk) of a ba’al teshuvah might be epitomized by the commandment, “do not follow after your heart and your eyes by which you go astray.” Yet, the reward is great, for the place where the ba’al teshuvah stand, even the righteous may not stand. What this Talmudic passage really means is that having attained freedom from errant ways, the ba’al teshuvah attains a level of sanctity that can be greatly appreciated, because of the effort made to reach that point.

To remember my former ways, is to guard against making the same mistakes made in my youth. Despite my viewpoints at the time, much of what is considered permissible by the standards of society is not permitted by the more stringent lifestyle of an observant Jew. Therefore, to remember my ways in the wilderness of my youth is to acknowledge how much of my own conduct must have angered G-d, despite my own ignorance of His ways.

Now, I try to walk a fine line, amidst the choices set before me, having a greater awareness of His expectations of me. I walk in humility, by recognizing how my past ways were not pleasing to Him. Nor, should I reminisce on past experiences that may have been pleasant in my own eyes at the time; rather, I need to continue to modify my perspective, aligning myself with what is wholesome in the eyes of G-d.

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Holidays

Building the Soul

B”H

The Building of the Sukkah

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

– Ecclesiastes 3:11, JPS 1917 Tanach

During the first ten days of the new year on the Hebrew calendar, we are preoccupied with tikkun hanefesh, renewal of the soul. Throughout those days, our teshuvah is meant to foster a reconciliation between us and G-d. Our tefillah (prayer) serves to remind us of the continuous connection possible, when we focus on Him. Our tsedokah, acts of charity, sustain the intent of diminishing ourselves, by way of being considerate of others. All three teshuvah, tefillah, and tsedokah, specifically, during this time, might influence the course of the year ahead of us for the good, by appealing to H’Shem’s Attribute of Mercy. After the neilah service, at the end of Yom Kippur, we are sealed in regard to the amount of blessings and curses, so to speak, that we will receive, throughout the rest of the year.

Now, that we have made our best efforts to start off the new year on the right foot, we begin building a sukkah, in preparation of the holiday of Sukkot. This is essentially the first constructive activity of the new year, aside from the reconstruction of our souls that have kept us busy, traditionally, throughout the month of Elul, and the ten days of awe. The sukkah is understood as symbolic of the Clouds of Glory that sheltered us in the wilderness for forty years. We are reminded of the nature of our own existence, without all of the extra amenities that we attach to ourselves.

Yet, for those of us who are not able to construct a sukkah in our backyards, or on our balconies, or rooftops, how might we spend these days, until the actual holiday begins? This might be an even more crucial question to address, when many of us have much time to occupy. Even so, simply “occupying time” may be in direct contrast to “occupying space,” something the sukkah allows us to do once built. How may we reckon time between Yom Kippur and Sukkot? The issue at hand is the maintenance of a sacred perspective: if we have been making our best effort to improve ourselves, through tikkun hanefesh, then the maintenance of the soul should continue to be emphasized in our lives. Thus, in doing so, we may also occupy our neshama (soul), instead of neglecting that essential aspect of ourselves.

Akin to building a sukkah, perhaps, symbolically, this may also be likened to restructuring our lives to be more in accord with godly pursuits, as opposed to anything that may not enhance our lives, or even take us further away from our spiritual aspirations (G-d forbid). The key intent of the various means prescribed to bring in the new year may very well be the spiritual recharge that will keep us on the derech (path). So, we may hope to preserve the sanctity of our lives throughout the entire new year, sparking a renewal that will continue to refresh our souls as the days, weeks, and months ahead of us are lived out with sacred intention.

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Holidays

Yom Kippur Blues

B”H

Yom Kippur Blues

by Tzvi Fievel Schnee

As Yom Kippur approaches, these Days of Awe, between the start of the new year, and the day of atonement can be described as an interim period, wherein we still have time to rectify our soul (tikkun hanefesh) as the door is still open to receive our acts of teshuvah, tefillah, and tsedokah. How we focus on our derech (walk) with G-d, during these days, will set the tone of our reconciliation with Him, that will continue to grow throughout the year. Yet, we need to put our best foot forward.

Too often, we are caught up in gashmios (materialism), neglecting our connection with the Creator of this world. How unfortunate that everything the world has to offer us seems more important than the One who placed everything in the world for our benefit, not for our entertainment. We have a responsibility to avdah ul’shamrah (serve and observe). We are to serve G-d, and observe His commandments.

Yet, there are many distractions in this world, that may throw us off course. The original blueprint of the world, along with its corresponding guidelines for proper maintenance are lost in the din of modernity. And, time passes, taking its toll on our collective memory, shared heritage, and common ancestry. New gods arise every century to steal our allegiance away from the only Source of our Life, Who deserves our devotion, gratitude, and praise, more than any human being, man made utopia, or political movement.

On Shabbat Shuvah, the shabbos between Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur, we are called to further evaluate our lives, taking into consideration, that all of the negative aspects of ourselves, may be changed for the good. We have the opportunity to do so, especially for the sake of our renewed commitment to G-d, life, and our fellow human being. Now is the time, perhaps, more than any other during the year, to expand our horizons in regard to our individual potential to improve ourselves. This year, with all of the challenges that are still upon us, may be seen with new eyes, a fresh perspective, and an expanded awareness that transcends our limitations.

Avinu Malkeinu (Our Father, Our King)
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Holidays

Rosh HaShannah 5781

Photo by Igal Ness on Unsplash

B”H

Abraham Twerski, a Jewish rabbi and psychiatrist writes, concerning the basic premises of what spirituality means for all human beings, “When people consciously reflect on themselves, they are being spiritual, and when they make a conscious effort to improve themselves, they are being spiritual” (Twerski, The Spiritual Self). This is good to keep in mind for all of us, who will be aware of the deeper import of Rosh HaShannah, as far as our own efforts to improve ourselves are focused upon at this time on the Hebrew calendar.

For myself, I can say nothing very positive concerning my own efforts, so far, during the Hebrew month of Elul to prepare myself for Yom HaDin (the Day of Judgment). How many of us are cognizant of this phrase, denoting another name for Rosh HaShannah? Perhaps, most of us simply think of the Holy Day as the beginning of the new year on the Hebrew calendar. Yet, the significance goes way beyond common conceptions.

This Elul, as well as Rosh HaShannah itself, has the potential to acquire double the impact, than preceding years. With the extra time that may be available for many of us to reflect even more this year, because of the wisdom of sheltering in place as much as possible, we have the opportunity to change ourselves, in direct proportion to the amount of time we are able to cease from external activity, in order to enact heshbon hanefesh (literally, an accounting of the soul).

So, I ask myself, will I be facing the King on Rosh HaShannah in fear and trepidation, feeling as if I did not make the most of my opportunities on a daily basis, during the month of Elul to judge myself and do teshuvah (repentance), ahead of time, so that on Yom Din, I will not be judged disfavorably? Or, will I stand in awe and reverence, before H’Shem on the Day of Judgment, in acknowledgment that I did my best to search my soul, confess my sins, and ask forgiveness, even before approaching Him, when the court is in session?

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prayer

The Silence of Prayer

Only from a place of inner quietude, will stillness have the potential to reign in the soul, even if only for a moment. Over time, these moments may contribute to a greater sense of wholeness and self discovery, through the intervention of an imposed silence, by resisting anything that may contribute to an unsettled mind.

I do not necessarily mean meditation. If I can not simply sit in silence, without the urge to check emails, social media or the news, what avail would a direct attempt at full-fledged meditation be? Or how can I enter into sincere prayer, unless any tendency “to keep busy” is first placed on pause?

Otherwise, busyness as a state of mind takes over the prayer session; and, even the prayers written in a prayer book fall prey to being said by rote, compelled as it were by the urgency to complete the task. I have noticed this too often in myself; and, would rather still my mind before making any attempt to pray, so as not to gloss over the prayers without kavannah (intention).

Ideally, meditation to settle the mind, as a way of entering into prayer; although, this will not always work for me if I am seriously distracted to begin with. Reading may help to relax the mind, even having a similar effect as meditation. However, prayer has the potential to be sublime, lifting my thoughts above the mundane. Ultimately, prayer may lead towards G-d through the silence of the heart.

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